‘If you sacked EVERYONE in your life, who would you re-hire?’ …this was the theme of an episode of my bestie Grace Hart’s radio show. It triggered the following rave…
It was a lovely opportunity to reflect on, appreciate and vocalise what a gift Grace is in my world. I totally get how blessed I am to have such a drama-free, judgement-free, blame-free, authentic, transparent, straight-talking, aware, super kind, supportive, unconditionally adoring bestie who totally sees me, gets me, appreciates and loves me, and big time has my back.
I thrive on our mutual commitment to personal evolution, and one of the ways I most appreciate Grace having my back is that she holds me to the highest version of myself and to creating on Planet Possibilities rather than on Planet Problems. I see feedback as an awesome contribution to my growth – so bring it on! I feel totally safe knowing that if there is something I’m blind to, misunderstanding or off track with in any way, she’ll speak her awareness if it’s required. We have totally given each other permission to be that for each other, and I soooooo appreciate how it rocks and enriches both of our worlds.
We can say ‘no’ and ‘that doesn’t work for me’, change plans on each other in a heartbeat, call it the way we see it. It’s direct and clean and totally and palpably from a place of caring so there’s no need to dress it up. A spade is a spade. Not mostly a spade. Not just a spade when it feels like being one. And it’s been a spade ever since we first met in 2007. I fricken love that! I trust it implicitly. It’s such a kindness. It’s so effortless. No second guessing. That means the world to me.
I was liberated into cleanly giving and receiving feedback during my life coach training back in 2002/3. Conditioning has trained people out of speaking their truth for fear of how it might be received – and with good reason actually, because many can’t receive it well (judging the crap out of it and/or feeling hurt/attacked/whatever). It can certainly come back and bite you on the butt.
For sure discernment is required as there are times when it cannot be received, and when it is not a kindness. And there are times when it is not appropriate (including the big difference between being in your own business and speaking up for yourself and your truth about something that is affecting you, as opposed to having an opinion about somebody else’s business that is none of your business!)
Awareness is needed to be able to deliver it cleanly as well. When it’s delivered with yuck energy, it can certainly be a challenge for anyone to receive it. (Bluntness that’s not coming from awareness or kindness is outright dysfunctional and aggressive in my book.)
It’s funny – and a bit of a head warp – when I interact with other peeps the same way as I do with Grace. It feels so natural to me that I’m usually in auto-pilot, so I often forget that not everyone is in that space or that we haven’t come to an understanding about being that way with each other. More than once or thrice I’ve been caught off guard. It’s like a reminder, ‘Oh crap – that’s right, it’s not Grace!’ …and then I either need to adjust accordingly, or be the invitation to that kind of relating. (I say this not to be disparaging towards others, but rather as a compliment to Grace and how much I massively appreciate it.)
Sooooo anyways, thank you Grace, for the magic of our feedback-enriched friendship of magnitude, for totally having my back, for our authentic relating, for receiving my truth, and for delivering your truth with kindness and caring, and for all the expansion this contributes to our worlds. For this and many more reasons, you’re re-hired! 🙂
Happy to play in that space with anyone where that’s what they’re choosing and what we agree on. Just sayin’! 🙂
(You can find Grace and all the magical things she does at Choosing Greater.)
© Maia Kshemya 2016